Letters

If God should bless me

I hope that he blesses me through my friends

Those that I’ve known for decades and those with whom I’ve bonded in the past hour

I hope that he opens doors for them ,doors that even them thought were obsolete

I hope that their lives are filled with unending euphoria

That they will look back at their younger days and have no regrets

Only an unending cycle of gratitude

I hope that he blesses me through the eyes of their children and the people they hold dear

That they’ll know tears but which he’ll wipe dry

If God should bless me

I hope that he blesses me in the same way he did Naomi

With the love and loyalty of family

With Intelligence and clarity of thought as he did Joseph

With conviction as he did Ruth

If God should bless me

I hope that he blesses me through my words

That they are enough to heal an aching heart

That they are enough to bind the scattered pieces of humanity

That they are sufficient to restore the faith as small as a mustard seed

If God should bless me

I hope that he blesses as justly and generously as he has always done.

Advertisements

Letters

Dear Daughter

When you fall in love ,don’t fall in love with a singer

He will draw you in with his sound

His voice that you’ll find intriguing

And he’ll sing about you..

Or maybe thats what you’ll think

He’ll send you notes at night

Notes of him singing about your beauty and

Sweet lyrics that will make your heart swoon

He’ll play you a sweet melody on his guitar and seduce you with the sound of his violin

Have your name written secretly in musical notes

All over his notebook

But you’ll not understand cause music will not be a language that you’ll understand

Especially when he will change the key and you’ll become another heartbreak song

When you fall in love,do not fall in love with a poet

He’ll craft your beauty into words full of hyperbole

And you’ll enjoy the flattery you just won’t get the significance

He’ll love you in the first stanza then kill you in the last

Only to resurrect you in his next poem

And this time you won’t get be the same

A part of you will have disappeared in his late night monologues

And the neighbour next door will have nothing but empathy for you cause he’d have told you

And you’ll see your glory fade in the next

“I wish I’d never loved”poem.

When you fall in love,don’t fall in love with a photographer

He’ll take shots of you and care about you in certain angles

He’ll make you feel beautiful not as you are but with some edits and colour schemes

He’ll tell you of how that picture says all the things he can’t put into words and you’ll believe him

Cause when you are young,theres nothing you want more than to be believe that the fairy tale in your mind is somehow true..or will be true

Then he’ll format his camera,tell you that the memory is full or that neither the manual nor the automatic focus captures the real you

Then he’ll delete your photos,and the memory of you will go along with them.

When you fall in love,don’t fall in love with a painter

He’ll hold you captive in the square feet of his canvas

Love you as he paints your eyes all the while stealing a kiss from your live form sprawled on the sofa

Then soon,

You’ll begin to lose form

With each stroke of his brush,you’ll begin to feel a pinch

And as the paint dries you’ll feel yourself cracking

Your body becoming devoid of love

He’ll paint hate all over you and you’ll tell stories of the painter that painted you back to dust

When you fall in love,fall in love with just you

And although you’ll think you’ll have no capacity for love

Trust me you’ll never need music to build you

Or words to make you feel beautiful

Or pictures to reflect upon your radiance

Or a painting to remind you of your worth

You’ll be enough and you’ll have enough love to give that musician,that poet that photographer or that painter and still have some left…and in abundance

When you fall in love, fall in love with yourself first

That way,you’ll know that lemons and oranges look the same but they taste different!

Yours Affectionately,

Mom!

Allure

Hey,its me again

Am sorry I let you slip off before I told you

That you looked beautiful today

Am not sure what caught my eye first

The way your mouth twitched when you laughed

Imitating that burly lecturer you like to imitate

Or the way the corners of your eyes wrinkled beautifully when you couldn’t control the laughter

Or is it the way you covered your mouth after realizing that you’d laughed a little too loud

Embarrassed perhaps

I could have just texted you this

But am too extra

So I wrote a poem…

Am probably going to record an audio for you

Telling you that that shirt you wore

Makes your almond complexion ‘pop’

And it’s like you are on the cover of vanity fair

Your voice as you tell stories,those awful escapades of our high school, rings in my head like a Stevie Wonder song

And I am a little shy to tell you this in person

So please when you read don’t look my way

And maybe I’ll tell you another day

That you look beautiful

Especially when you smile

And your teeth are so perfect and white…

Almost like a snowy day in the heart of Alaska

Before I embarrass myself any further,

I should tell you that you smelled good too

Not so strongly so

And not mildly so…

Just enough…just how I like the fragrances

All I am trying to say is

You looked beautiful today

As beautiful as beautiful can be!

Drips of my pen

Hey,
I thought calling would be a bit corny
And texting doesn’t suit me..I mean not quite
Am email would send the wrong message so am writing you a poem
Dont look at me like that when I walk into your apartment
You know the way you narrow your eyes like I radiate with a brightness that blinds you
Dont touch me the way you do…so tenderly like you really do care
Dont tell your friends about me
If I could I’d forbid you from thinking about me
Let me be not the story that you tell your grandkids
In those days of your prime when it’ll be cold and you are roasting corn
Let me not be the reason that’ll make you look at your life and tear for the loss of your youth
All I ask is that you’ll point your pen to your notebook
Let the ink drip and and colour me into what I am and what I am not
Let the words flow out of you
The memories that we share and those you hoped we would
Transform my life into a breathtaking analogy
Write until your fingers hurt and you cant hold the pen any more
Do not say that you loved me,
Or maybe you can say that you told me but I did not say it back
Then close your notebook
Place it high up near the family clock
And never mention my name afterwards
Just scribble feebly,on the margin against your will
Of the gift you left all your descendants, high up near the family clock.

Allure…

I fell in love with a girl,

She was not as different or as beautiful

Or as caring as a character in a romance novel

She was not from a noble home and she was not built like a sea goddess

But she was silent, and loud and vocal

She was weird and endearing

She was alone most of the time…but never lovely

She loved with her entire heart and many times got broken

But somehow she always picked herself up

She was a warrior

Even when words turned to blades and scarred every part of her

Even when love turned to hate and she thought tomorrow was a mad man’s dream

Somehow she found the strength

Somehow she smiled through it

Adjusted to the currents of the water,moving with it

Like a daughter of the sea

She opened her eyes wider..just so she could see the light she might be missing

I fell in love with a girl

With all her scars and blemishes

With all her ugliness and beauty

With all that she was

All that she hoped to be

And all that she knew she wouldn’t be

I feel in love with a girl

That girl is me!

Drips of my pen

I saw a girl crying and I thought of you

Of the way you made me feel

The way I listened to the small voices in my head

Urging me to stay

The way I’d confront the empty side of my bed days later

Dirty tissues all over it ’cause you said I had trust issues

I loved you young,

And wild

And you were home

You were the place I could put down my defenses

Let myself be as ethereal as my grandmother said I was

And turn rock hard and tough as my best friend says I am

I did not want much,

Just to be young and in love

Drink and party like teenagers

And pull on your earlobe

You hated it….

Loving you had consequences

So just let me bleed

Let me flip bottles,take shots

Wake up to another stranger every day

I dont want to be called in for another “conversation ”

We both know when shit gets real you go into hesitation

So just let me bleed you out

Let me keep scarring my own heart ,

How else I am gonna remember how much you’ve hurt me

You dont know,but loving you was fun,loving you was doom.

DRIPS OF MY BROKEN HEART

I called him again today
I knew I shouldn’t have but I did anyway
Held my breath and counted
One two three…
He always pick on the first three rings
So when the fourth one came in
Reverberating in my head like a heavy metal
I knew he was not going to pick
Just like yesterday and the day before that
So I hung up
Not ready to be confronted by that call ended
Or worse that dreaded “user busy”
Which translates to am here on this other end
Probably idle am just not interested in talking to you
I swear this time I did not just want to hear your voice
Or fumble with my words like I always do
Whenever I hear that deep glorious laughter of yours
This time I wanted to tell you a couple of things
Of how I think you don’t treat me right
Of how I think it’s finally time to say goodbye
Of how I wish you’d go right ahead and call me stupid
Or annoying…or a psycho
Or all those other words I see in your eyes each time they lock with mine
All those I taste in your mouth whenever you kiss me
And which I am always willing to overlook
Cause your smile,
Your smile alone can turn a sinner into a saint
And you are both
So, Am taking a rein-check
Am just going to tell this things to the mirror
Like I do each night
And each day when I think of you
Which is to say every moment of everyday
And I’ll call you again tomorrow
Just about the same time
To tell you all this things
And this time I hope you’ll pick on the first ring
For now I’ll try to have fun
But you know
It’s not really that fun having fun when you don’t want to have it.
©wairimunjeri
~dripsofmybrokenheart~

drips of my tears

I have tried to say this words,But they are stuck in my throat, suffocating me

I can hear echoes of heartbeat in the hollow auditorium that is my chest,

I can hear your laughter as you meticulously imitated DJ Shitti

And it all comes back,

To the moments you tugged on my shirt as we watched the Transformers for the third time…

The way you’d sit at the edge of the sofa whenever that goal was about to hit the net

Your scent is still gracing my nostrils

And each time I hear echoes of your voice from the other room,calling for me,

A piece of me detaches from me

My head spins and it’s like I am sleepwalking through life

You know,I wish you’d told me

Told me that I imagined it all

Told me that you were never really a part of my life

That  you were only stopping by for some gas and snacks

Told me that I was just another motel room in your long ride across hearts

See,I did not have a lot of self love,

Most days I looked at myself in the mirror and only saw the charred soul

But I chose to love

To give you all the love I could not give myself

And maybe you never understood,

That loving you was the only thing left for me,

It was the only thing that made me live

I wonder if you think about me

If you count me when you are counting your exes

Or if you just mention me as the girl you toyed with..

I mean you discolored me in the name of adding color to my life

But ain’t it funny how when the story ends  we begin to feel all of it…

©Wairimunjeri

If tomorrow starts without me

Image result for a new dawn

If tomorrow starts without me
And I am not there to see the sun shine
Or hear the waters of the rain clap against the roof
And your eyes will be filled with tears for me
I want you to know that I’ll be there
I wish so much that you will not cry
So much as you did yesterday
While remembering all that we did together
And thinking of conversations we didn’t get to have
I want you to know that I’ll be there
When you crawl out of your bed
And miss my voice singing “Rosela”
Or laughing loudly to a terrible joke
I want you to know that I’ll be there

If tomorrow starts without me
And you are walking in the morning sun as you love to
And you feel cold at your side where I used to walk beside you
And your heart sinks because you miss me
I want you to know that I’ll be there
When the dark sky is low
And it’s almost suffocating you
But then the cool breeze of the wind
Blows across your face
I want you to whisper “shugga” to it
Say thank you for stopping by
And kiss it goodbye for I’ll be there

If tomorrow starts without me
And you are battling the darkness threatening to engulf you
I wish that you will close your eyes
Reach for my distant whisper
Whisper back that you love me too
I wish so much that you will hold your tears while doing so
I hope you will look back with laughter at our yesterdays
And wait in earnest for tomorrow
For if it starts without me
I want you to know that I will be there.

The tip of my pen…

I have tried to say this words,But they are stuck in my throat, suffocating me
I can hear echoes of heartbeat in the hollow auditorium that is my chest,
I can hear your laughter as you meticulously imitated DJ Shitti
And it all comes back,
To the moments you tugged on my shirt as we watched the Transformers for the third time…
The way you’d sit at the edge of the sofa whenever that goal was about to hit the net
Your scent is still gracing my nostrils
And each time I hear echoes of your voice from the other room,calling for me,
A piece of me detaches from me
My head spins and it’s like I am sleepwalking through life
You know,I wish you’d told me
Told me that I imagined it all
Told me that you were never really a part of my life
That you were only stopping by for some gas and snacks
Told me that I was just another motel room in your long ride across hearts
See,I did not have a lot of self love,
Most days I looked at myself in the mirror and only saw the charred soul
But I chose to love
To give you all the love I could not give myself
And maybe you never understood,
That loving you was the only thing left for me,
It was the only thing that made me live
I wonder if you think about me
If you count me when you are counting your exes
Or if you just mention me as the girl you toyed with..

Or maybe you don’t mention me at all..
I mean you discolored me in the name of adding colour to my life
But ain’t it funny how when the story ends we begin to feel all of it…
©Wairimunjeri